This month we ran and camped at Rocky Hill Ranch in Smithville, Texas. This hilly ranch on the outskirts of the Lost Pines was spared during the 2011 fires in Bastrop so we had plenty of spring green to shade our hounds.
From the main parking area we sent the pack to the far south side of the narrow property up to the camping area and onto the single track bike paths that crisscross the hills within feet of each other. A challenge for the hare to keep the pack from jumping onto the return trail before the beer check. Fortunately we only lost one tall hound ($10 Blowjob) who happened to spot a second arrow and follow trail back to the parking lot before he figured out he must have jumped trail and re-ran the first half to catch up with us at the first beer check.
The hounds that remained following the first arrow (like they were supposed to) were rewarded with a small pond crossing followed by a hidden beer check in a ravine which included a Santa Fe 'Happy Camper' beer donated by Hog Straddler and much coveted by Reverse Queefer.
The trail continued along under the barbed wire fence and then back across with a few switch backs until they came to another barbed wire fence which claimed 'beer near' , which was quite far, but ended up at the Rocky Hill water station #1. The day was warm and the hashers were quite sweaty and thirsty, but we didn't have to wait long for everyone to come in and cool off.
Poor Hianus decided to go ahead and return to camp on the turkey trail since her neck and back had too much trail already. Bump Her Stick Her and Jizzly Bear stayed behind while the eagle hashers took off once again to continue down the trail. Another secret beer check with an optional swim in a pond was laid on the return of the eagle trail which looped around in a giant circle, counter clockwise thru the woods. The hare led the two turkey's and the three dogs to the pond and we let the doggies play in the water while we waited for the eagle hounds to make the circuit around.
As the hounds arrived hot and sweaty once again, Hipp Ho and her doggie were happy to swim in the pond and cool off but we managed to lose another hasher on trail. Midget Fluffer was reported as having twisted his ankle and was last seen on a parallel trail, but after waiting a good 20 mins, we all walked back to the first beer check location and dug out the phones to give him a call. He was alive but lost on another large loop, instead of turning counter clockwise on the true trail loop he went around to the right and ended up WAY off any hash marks, under power lines and completely lost. Lucky for him he had a map, figured out where he was and headed back to the beer check. Just as the pack was away on the return trail (turkey loop) Midget came walking in. I was relieved to see him and his ankle wasn't too bad, in fact he went ahead and continued down the trail, caught up with the pack and wasn't even DFL to the end!
The turkey trail returned on the single track bike paths but tried to stay to the north side of the ranch, to avoid crossing trails again. One long downhill false trail led several harriettes close to the road as I was getting a ride back to the start on an ATV and I could hear them whine 'Can we get a ride back?' - Okay I think it was Divine Bovine, but I made her take the trail back rather than giving her a lift... I'm a mean hare!
At the end we rewarded our hounds with NXNW keg beer (Duckabush Amber), ham and cheese sandwiches, deviled eggs, cupcakes, and the usual hash food of cheetos, peanut butter and bananas. Everyone ate their fill and we all sat around in our camp chairs for our informal circle. Everyone took their turn as RA by doing a few accusations then passing the duty on to the next hasher. Soon we were all ready to swing low and move the 'party' up the hill to the campground where we could watch the sunset from the hilltop, make a bonfire and watch the doggies run around with their glow stick collars on. We named Jizzly's dog Tease and Seize - at least that's what I remember... I almost had a seizure watching that glow light zipping around the campground (at light speed no less) as she teased the other dogs to try and catch her!
Some auto-wankers drove in, apparently not awake enough on Saturday to make a 2pm hash, Cums and Sees Stars and Ball Street Cock Exchange, would have loved the Friday night Black Light party (which they also missed) and today's trail, but there is always next month!
Floppy Dick (recently released from the hospital after a long stay with appendicitis) showed up just in time, and provided the tunes from his mini Cooper while passing out gourmet chocolates. Bump Her Stick Her brought out her date (the most Interesting Man) and we all watched the fire ebb and flow to the beat of the songs. A huge THANK YOU to Meat Goes Here for cutting down a dead pine tree and bringing the firewood to the camp!
Soon it was dark, late and breezy, so we let the fire die down, and headed back to our camper for the night. A few intrepid campers remained on the hill - Afrack & Bump Her, while the rest of the group went back to their cars or campers down the hill, ate some more and partied late into the night. Bubbles and I used the Rocky Hill shower which was nice and HOT, and slept very comfortably with only a few raindrops overnight.
Sux for Sox and Jizzly along with Divine and $10 BJ made some awesome breakfast sausage wraps in the morning while we tip-toed around a late night pool of barf, but otherwise no one was the worse for wear. CHEERS, CHEERS, CHEERS to all the hashers who made the trek out to Smithville, survived the long ass trail and helped make the BSH3 another great camp out! Until next month, adios! ---Whoreo